Jun 20

Trees For Life!

After ages, today I will be going back to Trees For Life! A moment of nostalgia! I remember the time I had fallen sick seriously and after recovering, decided to get into community service, for reasons known to only me!
Anyways, I am glad that I came in touch with this organization. My work was related to helping them with their multi-media learning software for poor children all over the world. I worked on the hindi and kannada versions of the software, making animations, and building stories for children!
Funny enough, it was I who learned a lot more, than what I had to give! The selfless nature of the people over there, the contentment they seem to radiate in their whole being! The happiness they spread… the huge bear hug I always received by David! It healed me of many pains – physical and mental! There is one belief they always nurture, David keeps telling it again and again… “This place is a heaven. And whosoever enters through the front door, is an angel!” Today the time has come to rejoin the divinity! It is so true, Balbir’s work has indeed shown happiness to thousands of families across the world! Their concern and love for mankind is a unique one, in that, it is not just words, but actions, silent actions like high frequence sound, that mere mortals like us, caught up in the mundane affairs, never will be able to hear! To hear it, one needs to be elevated on the platform of life! One needs to be human in true sense of the word. It is time to again get connected with it.. and I am happy, very happy!

Jun 19

Snubby!

Snubby is the name of my Pet dog – a cross bred Pomerian. My parents presented him to me for my 13th B’day! I remember the day he was brought.. hehehehe.. my father brought him in a basket!! The first thing he did as soon as he came to the house was to poop in the front yard! Had a tough time maintaining him during the younger days but the things did ease off as he grew. It was as if we had a younger brother! Sounds funny? I dunno, maybe thatz how it is with dogs(for a starter I hated to call him a dog)! He was white all over, except for his brown ears and black eyes! Over a very short period of time, I got extremely attached to Snubby. So much so that, I wouldn’t go out with my parents for fear that Snubby would be upset! And it was so indeed!!!
One day, we all went to a movie, and we hadn’t even turned at the road end, and Snubby started crying at the top of his voice! Believe it or not, I just cudn’t go any further, I asked my parents and brother to carry on, and ran back to this kid of mine!!! The most funny aspect was related to bathing Snubby! Surprisingly enough he wouldn’t let anyone bathe him other than me. I used to bathe him in the backyard! He used to stand posing like a king, while I, like an attendant would wash him all over *deep sighs*. Much as he would make me mad with his small tantrums, there were moments when he would make me cry! His health would suddenly deteriorate, and he would stop eating. Boy! that would make me so tense!!
There have been so many moments of happiness and desperation that I shared with my Snubby. Once, I got my visa to leave to America, I used to tease him a lot, saying that there won’t be any attendants to bathe him! He was always ahead of me anyhow… Snubby, passed away suddenly just 2 days before I left to USA.

Jun 16

The Big Old Blue!!

I don’t know whether it is because of the fact that I have the Piscean traits, or that I was always near some huge water source eversince childhood, Oceans, Rivers, and large lakes seem to fascinate me, almost as does the vast expanse of sky! One thing that is common between the two, its the color Blue!!
I have always looked the the vast expanse of water and marvelled at it! There is something strangely magnetic and wonderful about the fact that such a huge amount of water could accumulate in one place, and did not leave the perimeter again! (Well almost…)
The crystal clear blue expanse, the waves endlessly splashing on the banks, the sand on the sea shores, small conch shells, sea shells, and above all the deep murmur of the vast sea carried over to us by the swift wind, as if the waters are whispering to us the secrets of the past that it has been witness to, with a child like zealousness.
Indeed the oceans have been witness to the beginning of life forms, civilizations, wars, growth and development, and destruction too (sometimes they themselves being the cause!). To this day, I just have to close my eyes and my mind loses itself on the ocean, swiftly carried off by its currents to lands never seen by human eyes!
The Sun rise and Sun set – two of the celestial events that the sea/ocean has a role in! Words fail to describe the beauty abundant in these phenomenon!
All said and done, in the end, all the mind craves for is the same banks to walk upon, the same whispers echoing in my ears… endlessly sharing its many secrets… my dearest friend… my Big Old Blue!

Mar 31

Language-A bridge across forever?!!

There is a never ending feud that is happening in the forum. The eternal battle between languages. Kannada is my mother tongue, and so is special to me. But does that warrant one to hate other languages. There are a lot of issues plaguing the state of Karnataka today. The issue of language is one such. Yes! The language is a part of the identity of the state and most certainly must be preserved. But do we need to fight other languages for this? Whatever has brought the situation to this level, when language which was supposed to be a medium for communication, is now more a tool of increasing hatred among the people!
To what end is this supposed to lead us, I am clueless. There are a lot of questions in my mind right now. How can I build my language along with others, and not on the debris piled up by destroying them?! I have taken a break from the forum, in order to think and brood over the matter. I want to come up with a concrete plan and work on it, in my own way. I want to reconstruct the bridge for the purpose it was meant to be. I hope I can.

Mar 29

In Search Of Me!

Ravaging through the mind, a thousand gales
Are today filling my heart with agonizing wails
In a moment when everything seems so lost;
I crave again for moments of the wondrous past

Give me back myself, that which was once me!
This present is so unlike all that I dream!
Whenceforth did in the tides of time I lose
The meandering paths of doom did I choose!!

For on this path, there is not a soul to befriend
Just an eerie silence and darkness with no end.
The journey I set out upon, this was not to be
Yet here I am, walking the miles, searching for me!

Doubts plague the mind, questioning my being
And challenge to show the proof of my living!
Dead am I within? A funeral there was none.
Why is it then, a silent mourning there begun?!

A deafening cry rises, from within the deep
Give me back myself, I am mine to keep!
Haunting echoes of my sorrow plague the valleys
Tears and sighs, sleepless nights form my allies.

Its a battle upfront that I fight within,
Pitched against myself – How shall I win?
A void it is, that surrounds me today!
Everything hopeful and bright keeping at bay.

Never have I lost, nor shall I now
lay down my arms and drop my bow.
Today shall I set alight the flame,
Scorch the foe and end the game!

From the ashes of me, A phoenix I shall rise,
Resplendant glory burning all I despise.
The future I shall quote and so be it noted,
This battle shall be won and epics devoted!

The enemy is within and there shall he die
Some wars are fought alone – this is not a lie.
The pawns are moving, the board has been set!
In the quest of life, there is myself to beget!

-Praveen

Mar 24

Idle musings – 2

So often, I think what would’ve happened if things were to be different than they are now! Especially when it comes to specifics and details, I always get this urge to see the things in a different angle than they are! What if I hadn’t come to America? What if I hadn’t joined Kannadaaudio.com? What if I hadn’t come to Wichita? What if I wasn’t born at all.. and sometimes looking into the future, What if I was dead!
I am aware of the fact that it is impossible to change the past and many times the things that we wish wouldn’t have happened. And yet there they are, staring at us in all stark nakedness! I look at them and wonder as to their purpose of being. Sometimes the mind seems to fathom them and sometimes they are lost in the wilderness of the future. Why at all do I concern myself with them? Life probably would have been a lot easier to live if we could just shut ourselves to the memories. Yes, we would lose a lot of the good ones but then be spared of the bitter ones too! Yet, that is not the case, for human mind seems to harbor them for some reason! At the end of the day all that matters is what we do in the time that is vested with us. The aftermaths of the past shall linger on to the future, but it is a future that we can still control. It is rather astonishing the way, the past, the present and the future are blended. Infact, I see them as manifestations of the same TIME!
I have looked back in life and sometimes wondered at the people who came in and the people whose lives I entered. They touched me and I theirs. There is something deeper that seems to run, from one life to another that brings us in contact with eachother. It’s a pull as I see it. A draw of a new learning that somehow seems important for us in the lifetime that we live. The people we come in contact with are there to teach us something! Probably that is why we keep meeting a certain category of people.. something that seems to tell me that I am yet to learn it. In this learning, I realize the purpose of my being. In this learning, I realize the purpose of their presence. In this learning, I realize the meaning of life.