My Grouse on Weight Loss!

I am shooore that many of my friends who have seen me, would agree that I have no need whatsoever to workout! But then, my mom has quite a different perspective on my physical structurization. Alas! She is my mom and a damn adamant one at that! So when she gave me an ultimatum on Sunday that I either shed those extra pounds showing around me, faster than Udita Goswami can shed her clothes, or else, let her find a girl for me, I was left with no choice! Now now.. not that my mother wouldn’t have chosen a girl good enough for me, but then, I would’ve lost the simple pleasures of seeking! So having settled that, I chose to go with the devil and even coaxed a friend of mine to be my accomplice in this ritualistic sacrifice of the triglicerides in the body!

On an auspicious moment of the Monday evening, me and my friend embarked on the arduous journey to the altar of body building! Now, I am not the one who generally takes to think low of my esteemed self! And my initial impression of the one’s working out there didn’t seem to do any harm either! Those wretched souls with their thin lean bodies looked utterly famished, and produced in me a sniggering much as erst while villains like Vajramuni/Pran sported! My well fed body knew what it was in for, and slightly shivered at the thought of becoming one of those leanies! It shuddered even as I held the handle of the peddler! Not to be undone, I set the program up, and started to peddle! My muscles let out a shriek “Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin……… keh do ki yeh jhoooT hai…. aisa nahin ho sakta… choD do mujhe.. kameene.. tere paas aur koi body vody nahin hai kyaa…” but I peddled on.. and on.. till the shrieks turned to silent sniffs.. and then there was silence. Oh! Curse my villainy!!

Now! what in heaven’s name is wrong in being, well a little chubby in all the cute places!! I am sure girls would love to pull my cheeks and maybe rest on my soft tummy! But no! that is not to be done!! Well after burning a 100 calories on the peddler, I went over to the circuit room. Now herein, they have arranged a whole array of machines chosen exclusively to work every part of your body! And what more! they even have an automated system that tells you when to start, and when to stop and move to the next station! Kewl eh? Ah! but the drama was yeddo stard! For there was this immense gargantuan specimen of homo sapien species working out over there! On the weight lifting stations, this King of a Kong, had set the weighs to 200 lbs!! thatz even more than my body weight and the scales that I can lift combined!! Now, having been well aware of my immense physical abilities and not willing to give him a complex, I decided to reduce the weight to the minimum.. and set it to hehehehehe 30 lbs! All was going on well, till that species decided to go over the stations once again, and as he approached the station that I had worked on, his eyes nearly popped out of his thick skull! He looked at me, as if looking at the most poor and wretched creature that one may find in the remote corner of the kitchen cabinet! It’s a feeling that says.. “Oh! you poor thing! look at you! I can crush you like a piece of overcooked potato but then, whatz the fun in that!” and then u sweep it up and trash it out!! Albeit here he obviously couldn’t trash me out, and so gave his “you despicable creature” look and set the weights back to his capacity! And I! much relieved at the end of it all, rushed home, and complimented myself by eating a vanilla chocolate ice cream that incidentally had 136 calories in it! Amen to that!